Roleplay on Dolor with Hikaru/Ruby regarding History

"Hey, Karu?" Ruby finds you sitting outside. She's acting less formal than usual, and seems a bit nervous. "Mind if I join you?"

Her hand is bandaged and her dress is more modest. For the first time in... probably forever, she's not wearing her gloves.

"Sure Miss Ruby. What's going on?"

She sits down beside you. "How'd you feel when Rodrick first transformed? Before you understood about...all that."

Hikaru thinks. "Terrified. I'd barely been getting used to rod and suddenly poof, another one walks in with a completely different personality. I didn't believe him at first. Would you? But it was him sure 'nough."

She nods, "Yeah, it was hard to believe when I first found out, too."

"I mean he's a completely different fella every time he changes."

"That's true. But..." she contemplates how to say it. "Somehow they still feel... Alike. I mean, they are all part of who he was before that... accident happened, after all."

"Like pieces of a whole. None of them are fully him. But his true form is the one that scares me. It almost seems soulless."

She shivers. "Perhaps all the others were its...his...humanity."

"I think it forces all his emotions onto his other forms. From what he's told me normally they're not supposed to have personalities. But he did.”

"That's really interesting. I wonder what he was like before... Before all that." She fiddles with the fabric on her hand. "But I'm glad to know him. Both of you... You've each taught me a lot, Hikaru."

"That's funny, cuz I feel like all I've done is learn. I didn't know what.... Friends... Were before this. I don't know how to interact with them. Did you hurt your hand miss Ruby?"

"In a way... I feel the same." She looks at her hand. "Yeah, um... I was a little desperate fighting those wolves a few days ago, and I followed through with a stupid idea." She half smiles. "I just didn't want to worry you or Rodrick, so I kept it covered. But thinking about it..." The smile fades, "I need to let it heal... So I realized I can't hide it forever."

"What stupid idea was that?" He asks. He grabs a bottle of gin and takes her hand to unbind it.

Ruby winces a little. The wound has already started to heal some, but you can see there are several bite and puncture marks, some rather deep. Bluish splotches with snowflake-like tendrils trace her skin. "I only had two shots left, and two wolves at me... Rhys was taking on more, and one jumped me..."

He takes a rag and splashes it with alcohol. "This is gonna sting." He dabs her skin with it.

"I didn't want to miss..." She cringes, sucking in breath through her teeth from the sharp sting of the gin. "S-So I stuck my pistol and... hand into its mouth." She lets out a little embarrassed laugh, wincing. "Let's just say I succeeded in killing it."

"Well that's definitely an inventive way to do that. You know Miss Ruby you seem a little… Different today."

"I... Talked with Rodrick about somethin'. He said he thought I should tell you too, that you'd understand, cause of him." She takes her bandage and gingerly wraps it around the freshly cleaned bites.

“...Alright shoot then."

"You know how I hid in Elengrad as Arabella for some time, right? To stay hidden from...everything?"

"I remember."

"Ruby..." she struggles. "...Ruby isn't me either. She's the same."

"What exactly do you mean?"

She fidgets, looking at you imploringly, trying to read your eyes. "I... I had a need, a long time ago.... And for a long time since, to be someone....else. Even Luther only knows me as Ruby."

"I've had a lot of use for my disguises... For Luther, too. I've used many over the years..."

She looks at the bottle of gin. "I don't like to drink often, because I... I forget who I'm supposed to be. At least, when I remember any of it afterwards. Same reason I always wear gloves... I don't like to leave evidence or fingerprints where I go. I...don't want my personas to be linked to one another. They all have different alibis."

"So who are you really then? Or can you say out loud?"

"I can... I should... I don't know if it matters anymore, since... Luther might not be here anymore. I'm no longer his assistant. That's why I've kept up the act. And I..." she falters, "I didn't want to cause you all trouble. I didn't know how everyone would react, if I was suddenly...different. I would risk my friendships, my trust I'd built..." She looks up guiltily.

She opens her mouth, closes it again and licks her lips, not used to saying it.

"Delilah." She looks over. "That's my real name."

"Delilah. Hey there, that's a pretty name isn't it... You do risk everything Miss Delilah. I've always let my ears show through my hat holes and my tail is always visible. I've hid from people and even hid my identity on occasion, but I always return to who I am. It feels wrong somehow to leave Hikaru behind. Instead I emblazon him on the world. Let them take me how I am. Maybe you need Miss Ruby to hide sometimes. But it seems a shame if Miss Delilah couldn't leave her mark on the world as well."

He looks up at her genuinely, "It's nice to meet you Miss Delilah."

She stifles a sob, and lets out a laugh. "It's nice to meet you, Hikaru. Thank you for your understanding, and your words." She chuckles, wiping her eyes and trying not to cry. "See, I told ya you teach me stuff... You're a good friend. You...remind me of my brother."

"Whoa there, you ok?" He looks embarrassed like he doesn't know what to do. He pats her knee awkwardly.

"Yeah, yeah sorry." She sniffles with a shutter, trying to clear her head. "I just... Man. That does feel liberating, bein' honest. I've been a bottle of nerves f-for a while. I might come clean to others later... At least, here I don't have to hide from anything." She looks out at the beautiful landscape.

"You know Armella pretty well, do you think--" she pauses for a second, thinking about it, "--you think she'll understand just as easily?"

"Honestly I'm not sure. Armella and I were much closer when we were younger. But I think she would be."

"Okay..." She nods, hoping you're right.

After a few long minutes, she scoffs. "It all seems so...silly. I'm not hiding from some great evil, or being hunted to my death, or... Anything like what you guys deal with. This trip has...put things into perspective." She rubs her neck where the Wuxian assassin kept her at knifepoint.